Aliyah Rose

Today Aliyah Rose turns five. It is to her that I dedicate this journal entry. All that I do, I do not only for myself, but in turn I do for her, her brother and her cousins.  Nana loves you all very much.

For my requirements this year, I have challenged myself to learn something new every day.  I was going to say no matter how small, but knowledge can not be labelled with a price tag, for all knowledge whether seen as large or small, is invaluable. These are but a few of what I have learned. 

- To maintain and bake sourdough

-To maintain and make kefir

-The benefits of kefir and sourdough

-That my fear of bears runs deep enough to limit my activities alone in the bush 

-A better understanding of capitalism and socialism

-That the best teacher to have is one that is not afraid to reprimand his students. (Correct, don't protect)

-There is true value in being open to correction 

-That a conscious relationship is when both people involved are working on self improvement and support each other in that endeavour.   

-The importance and power of intention. 

-That in order for me to trust, I have to have clear precise communication. 

-That to say an apple is red, green or gold, is to look at an apple with perception. To recognize that an apple is white, is to look deeper and see the apple with mindfulness. Making mindfulness more powerful than perception is the key. Without mindfulness, our experience remains at a surface level. 

-That I am sometimes torn between feelings of independence, and feelings of loneliness. 

-That I am not a better person because of the trials I have endured in my life, but rather I am a better person because of the choices I have made when faced with those trials.  

-That feeding my body with wholesome and non processed foods, serves me well.  

-That pragmatic means dealing with things in a practical or sensible way, that suits the existing conditions. 

-That dogmatic means to be very firm with your convictions, and go by the book, even if evidence shows another way. 

-How to recognize the calls of a nighthawk

-That my pains of arthritis can direct my intentions with Kung fu techniques. 

-That brown headed cowbirds will lay their eggs in the nests of smaller birds, unbeknownst to the mother bird that will raise all of the chicks. Only to have the baby cowbirds eventually kill the smaller birds in the nest.

-That my best classes are ones where I am fully engaged with my students, and when I can bring my students fully engaged with the lesson. 

-That my fear of abandonment is real, yet can be worked on through my meditation practice.

-That clear and plentiful communication is a very important key to any successful relationship I am in

-That money is not needed for success in life, but improving, and giving of oneself is. 

-The song of a swainsons thrust goes up in pitch, and the song of a hermit thrush goes the other way.

-That all habits have a cue, and if I want or need to dissolve the habit, I have to interrupt the cue.

-A conventional relationship is one that doesn't really go anywhere because no one is conscious, so there is nowhere else to go.

-To be fully aware of the direction of my stances at all times.

-Meditation is wholesome healthy therapy because it makes the unconscious, conscious

-Proclivity is a tendency to choose or do something regularly.

-In order for me to grow, I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

-I need to work my ego as a tool, not as an identity.

-Through creating my 5 animal form, I have learned the extent of my determination and drive.

-I have a tendency to knock myself down or make excuses before I let anyone have a chance to build me up or give me a compliment. Now that I have recognized that, I am more conscious of not doing that.

-That I need to put in effort in my martial arts training in order to improve, and to be worthy to be taught. Wishing I was better, without actions, gets me nowhere.

-That the thought of a person, is not the same as the person.

-Meditation helps me to see my desires, which when seen clearly, helps me to make better decisions and choices.

-That for me, keeping a healthy attitude is everything.

-Love is not something I do, it is something I can become.

-Love or hate happens within me, and only by choice.

-When I can face the things that haunt or disturb me, it is only then that they will go away.

-Self compassion is the #1 importance in self healing.

-That I used to want to be like everyone else, but now I want to be different than everyone else.


Brenda Stoddart