How to Write a Blog- Part IV
Let’s review.
The four reasons for not blogging are-
I don’t know what to write about/I have nothing to write about.
Absolutely nothing happened, I did nothing, there’s just nothing to write about.
I’m too busy.
I have nothing positive to write about.
Number four is broken down into two justifications;
a) Liken this to “once, long ago, I wrote a blog and I felt like I got in trouble for being honest. Now I shy away from writing anything”. This was the focus of Part III.
And now, the second justification;
b) There are some big emotions going on (a lot or a little, big is big), lots of negativity, and I’m not ready to “get over it”. Therefore, I can’t write in a constructive way.
That’s totally okay. We’ve all been there. You’re in the sulking stage, which I personally believe is a legitimate place to be, we all have to pass through it when something goes awry. But, we cannot stay there. To stay in this stage is only damaging to ourselves and detrimental to our overall goals. And I don’t care what goal you want to insert here, owning doggies or achieving mastery in Kung Fu. To stay in this stage is detrimental to us.
The solution is the same as Part III.
This place provides us the best reason to write a blog. It allows us to voice our emotions, tell our side, and then work through it all to a place where we can benefit from the experience. How, you might say. Well, let me tell you a story.
Last year, actually the past three years, have been exceptionally difficult for me. Lots of personal problems, the death of four family pets, an autism diagnosis, the diagnosis and ultimate death of my loving mother, the diagnosis and ultimate death of my father, planning funerals, selling off the farm, and to top it all off, estrangement from my brother.
Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
Oh, add in taking over a school from someone who is so far above my level that it didn’t seem crazy, it seemed ludicrous. Yeah, add that expectation in there.
Anyways how, pray tell, do you “benefit” from all of that? I’ll focus on the ongoing estrangement between my brother and I. The only surviving member of my original nuclear family. Specifically after my mother told me to never let anything get between us, as she lie on her deathbed.
Well, it’s not good that we’re not talking. No positive spin there. Except, I learned what I am capable of, the empathy I am capable of, the weight I can carry without crumbling and what I will and will not tolerate in my life. (Side note, I never thought I was particularly empathetic. At least, I lack the ability to outwardly show it in a meaningful manner.)
All of which led me to believe in myself. And look, SRKF is still alive, a year later, in my care. I don’t think I could have I would have thought I was capable of it. And granted, it’s been rough. There are potholes the size of Denmark that have developed under my nose. But, I can proudly say that the school survives. I survived, I thrived, and I learned.
You can learn from anything, if you allow yourself to.
I have not “gotten over it”, hence the ongoing distance between my brother and myself. But, although I do not see the light at the end of the tunnel, I have confidence enough in myself to recognize that it will be there, when I choose to make it so. I recognize the immense stress he was/is under, and although I will not tolerate some things, I do have empathy for him.
There you go. I just wrote a blog, even in the sulky, everything is wrong and nothing is good stage. Added to that, I used my negative space in a positive manner, in hopes of providing some motivation and clarity to those of you who find yourself stuck.
So, to address the name of this series, the question everyone has in their mind; How do you write a blog?
Just do it.
How to Write a Blog- Part III
Welcome back. Let’s get into it.
Next reason- I’m too busy. If this is your reason, I will refer you to these fine resources;
https://vimeo.com/1026981384/3fe78813a3
https://www.silentriverkungfu.ca/i-ho-chuan-news/2024/11/19/honesty-and-time
https://www.silentriverkungfu.ca/i-ho-chuan-news/2024/11/19/time
Last, and this is “the big one”- I have nothing positive to write about. Again, there are two reasons for this one.
Liken this to “once, long ago, I wrote a blog and I felt like I got in trouble for being honest. Now I shy away from writing anything”. Okay, this one is tricky. Well, tricky if you’re not keeping things in perspective.
No one gets to live a life with only positivity. We all have bad days. Sometimes a bad week. Heck, bad years! But again, we have the ability to manipulate our surroundings. Does that mean we can control the people around us? No. But we control ourselves, our own thoughts and actions. If we don’t know how, we have the ability to learn.
When it comes to blogging about something negative, you need to take a step back and look at the bigger picture. We react strongly when emotions are involved. We are opinionated. But, if someone did us wrong, or made us mad, or unjustly stole our last piece of pie, remind yourself that we ALL think that we are the one who is in the right. Including the person who wronged you!
How does this help? Well, think about why the other person felt the way they felt, did what they did. Say you write a blog. In it you vent about something. Okay, fair. We all need to do that. But what did you do about it? If all you did was vent off steam, identify what is wrong and unjust in the world, did you really do right by yourself? Or did you stop too short and left yourself in a state of aggravation, frustration and general unpleasantness that will slowly eat at you, alter how you think, feel, act?
If you never took it past this place, then yes, we would have reached out to you and told you that you needed to rethink what you had written.
Get it out. Identify the negatives, but then do something positive with it. My pie is gone. Woe is me. Now I’m hungry. Wait, I have half a dozen apples wilting on my counter. I’ll make me another pie! And in doing so, I’ll feel better about not wasting those apples! AND become a better baker! Learn how to make my own crust! Share my pie, bring happiness to the world! Oh oh, maybe I could share it with the fella who stole it in the first place, alleviate his/her hunger, make them go oh, I stole his pie, and now he’s sharing this one? Wow, is that my heart growing three sizes? Did this make ME want to do something kind for someone else?
Don’t stop at the problem. Continue through to a solution. Make sure that every cloud has a silver lining, even when you have to create it yourself. Your perception can shift, which can change your whole outlook. When your outlook is positive, you tend to notice the positivity that surrounds you. What’s more, you tend to create the positivity around you.
If you stop, only venting, offering no solution, giving yourself nothing to move forward with, then heck yes, we’ll call you out on it. Because we want you to thrive, not wilt. We’ll protect you as much as we can.
How to Write a Blog- Part II
Now, I want to narrow it down to the specific reasons people don’t want to write a blog. There are four, split between two of these articles.
First- I don’t know what to write about/I have nothing to write about. These are grouped together because they are indicating the same things. There are only two reasons that this may be the case.
You are not actively/mindfully/honestly reviewing your past week.
Things happened to you. Many things happen to or around us that we just don’t take notice of. Many things that could have an effect on our daily living are left on the floor where they landed after bouncing off our faces. This is normal. But normal doesn’t mean we have to accept it. We’re a cool, albeit funny looking, creature called a human, and the cool thing about that is that we have the capability to affect our surroundings. But, we have to practice our skills just like any other critter. Even more so; our big brains give us the ability to create cool gadgets but we need to learn how to walk first. That is okay. We get the itch to get that toy on that shelf and start pushing ourselves to stand and walk over there. We suck at first. That’s also okay, we also have a thing called a booty that protects us. Anyways, we keep trying and we get better until one day we can run like Usain.
Blogging is the same. Being mindful is the same. It needs to start with a desire, a plan of action, then consistency and then, boom. We got skills baby!
If you don’t see Sifu Brinker slapping his hands together and hearing his voice “take consistent action” then we’ll have to revisit this one.
2. Absolutely nothing happened, you did nothing, there’s just nothing to write about.
Did you live? Then you must have done something, or something must have happened to you. What you are likely saying here is that you did not train, did not think about your training, and did not engage or were not receptive in your classes. Beyond that, you did do something. It is impossible to do nothing. Nothing means you have ceased to exist. When you say you have nothing to write about you’re saying you don’t want to confront what you did or didn’t do for the past week. It was boring. Or not related to your training. Maybe you slept on the couch, or sat in front of your computer gaming. That means you did something, and you likely don’t want to admit to the team what it was. Do you know what the best remedy for this is? Admit it to the team! Take a step towards doing something else, and talking about what is going on is a great step.
Hello, my name is Khona and I spent the past week mindlessly staring at the TV. I know that isn’t a great way to spend my time. I have things I would love to do/have, but no ambition to do anything about it. I feel stuck, like my body is heavy and my mind heavier and so instead of tackling the things that are weighing on me I tend to zone out and stare at a screen watching The Next Generation for eight hours.
Interesting how I can relate watching reruns to my path to mastery. You do see the connection, correct? No matter what you did or didn’t do, you are on a path. And paths go in more than one direction.
So to fix this article, let’s revisit number 2.
Absolutely nothing happened, you did nothing, there’s just nothing to write about.
That’s better.
Next reason- I just forget. Remember when I mentioned our cool ability to create gadgets? One of those things is called an alarm. Most of us have them on our cool smart phones. Also known as reminders. Problem solved.
How to Write a Blog- Part I
I’ve had several conversations lately about the difficulties everyone is facing when blogging, particularly when there is a block. Not a writers block, but a been-absent-from-blogging-for-too-long-now-I’m-feeling-angry/resentful/sheepish(insert descriptor here)-and-can’t-get-started kind of block.
I’ve been hearing all the reasons; I’m so busy, I don’t know what to write about, I’ve nothing positive to write about, I just forget!
I hear ya. But I also know there are solutions to any reason you have. BUT, you have to want to solve the problem. And there’s the big one, eh? You DON’T want to solve the problem. Why not?
Same reason you know you should eat the broccoli, but opt for mac and cheese instead. Same reason you know you should go outside in the sun but opt for the screen instead.
Where’s the gratification in the broccoli? The instant gratification? Broccoli in your teeth, that’s what you get. Happy, tasty, gooey, yummy in my belly NOW feelings with mac and cheese.
Just do it. That is the answer. But let’s break that down for a minute.
Why is it so easy to “just do it” when it comes to things like pasta, video games, caffeine, couches?
Because it takes no forethought to give into these.
But it takes forethought to pick the broccoli.
What is the instant gratification in blogging? Some people feel a relief, another week taken care of. But some people feel anxiety, what will others think, now I’m accountable, where is my glass rock?
So, why the difference? Those who feel the relief have experienced the anxiety, and kept going anyways.
You need to think of the long term.
What do you want? I want my couch. No, you’re thinking too small. What do you want out of this limited time you call your life? Health? Happiness? Doggies? A house with unlimited doggies, angelic kids and free wifi?
Start big, then work your way back. What do you need in order to obtain what you want?
Enough money to buy a house and fence the thousand acres I’d need for the doggies.
Alright, best way to earn that cash?
Winning lottery ticket. Good, high paying job.
What about the happiness you mentioned?
High paying job I enjoy. Beach body year round.
How are you going to get that?
Get hired by Apple Elon Google somewhere I can be happy, work my way up and eventually rule the world own my own business. I need to become the top of my field, a “master” if you will, which will take hours of work and dedication, which means I need to be disciplined enough to put in the work and NOT quit, which means I need enough insight into myself to know what makes me tick, what drives me forward versus holds me back, enough gumption and confidence to make mistakes and keep going anyways, a system to keep myself on track, preferably someone to help me along (hold me accountable) and who can be a sounding board when I get stuck.
Alrighty. If only there were some program that can help you develop the tools you’d need for all of that.
Mastery
Dedication
Discipline
Insight
Confidence
Resilience
Perserverance
Accountability
If only…