In the early morning as I hear my grandchildren stir on the mattress on the floor beside my bed, I wake with an instant thought in mind. Kung fu. That ends my nights sleep, but laying there pondering leads to a small bit of clarity. A demo of my Kung fu strengths. An impossible task without knowing what my strengths really are.
I got thinking about my recent resume I did for employment, and if I had to write one for my kung fu, what would it say. My weaknesses in my kung fu have never been hidden. I know its in my applications. When I was a 2nd degree brown belt, I spent most of my classes at the fitness studio teaching classes there. Therefore my knowledge in the area of 2nd degree brown curriculum is somewhat lacking. I believe this is where my feelings of inadequacy as a black belt derives from. But thinking about it now, I just realized that it is also how I have gained 2 of my strengths; my fitness and love of teaching.
On the last page of my employment resume, I listed my interests. I listed those things that touch me, and really move me to want more. I made a list of the things that I am truly passionate about, and they are family, kung fu, everything outdoors, birds watching, history, teaching, photography. When I am doing these things, the rest of the world disappears and all I know is that very moment.
Next thing is how do I do a kung fu demo, and incorporate all, or at least some, of these things? How do I put bird watching and teaching kids into a demo? How do I put my kung fu strengths and life's passions together for others to see? Then suddenly an idea or 2, or 3, came to me. To put these ideas together at least 3 things are going to be needed; dedication, lots of work and a talent of creativity. Well, 2 out of 3 isn't bad. I will have to do a lot of digging, very deep digging, to find a talent within myself that does not really shine bright. A talent of creativity.
I got to thinking about one more thing, and that was the purpose in all of this. The I ho chuan. I knew right from the very start when I first noticed the posting on the board at the school that I needed and wanted to do this. The reason has nothing to do with gaining a new stripe on my belt. That was the farthest thing from my mind. All I could think of was personal growth. It was like this huge neon sign flashing bright red. It said, "this is it". I want to move forward in this area of my life. I want to become a more focused, positive, healthy person who lives a wholesome life and appreciates every moment of it. Never taking those moments for granted.
I asked myself, what are the things in my I ho chuan that I have done to help myself move in the right direction? What has made the biggest impact? That was an easy thing to answer. My meditation. Somehow this needs to be a part of my demo....but how? I have gained a very strong testimony of how amazing meditation is, and the power within it. There is great power there that brings amazing results without even putting in a lot of effort. Sit quiet for 10 minutes or more every day, and watch your life change. I had no idea how much. Going hand in hand with that is definitely my engagement with the program. If I wasn't willing and disciplined enough to keep up with what is required of me by my team, my instructor, and mostly by myself, then how can I possibly expect to succeed. I wanted to succeed, very much so, and therefore I put in the effort. As a result, I have been on a journey of a lifetime, and am becoming a much more positive and appreciative person, just like I wanted to. I have learned so much in the previous months, and am excited for what is yet to come. I owe so much to my kung fu, to Sifu Brinker, to my family, and to Dean. All those that have supported me, taught me, and continue to do those things for me.
Anyways, I do have sooooo much more yet to do, but at least I have a start. Everything good and wonderful has to have a start. I want to do a demo that leaves people in awe. One that leaves them knowing exactly who I am and what I can do. One that "leaves them wanting more". I want to do a demo that forces me to push myself physically, to think outside the box and one that gives me a real solid appreciation for who I am.
Brenda Stoddart