Mastery - Mediocrity Cycle and Life

Yesterday I had a friend reach out to me about how they feel they need more work-life balance.  Specifically, working less, to make room for the things in her life that are more meaningful.  I equated it to our mastery-mediocrity cycle.  I told her that there are going to be times that we have achieved that balance.  Everything is in alignment.  The angels are singing, and life is good.  However, like mastery, mediocrity creeps in.

We'll have periods where we have it all figured out, but I told her that there is going to be a lot of time spent where only one thing is going for them, and sometimes when nothing is.  That's just the way things go.  To add to that, her work is one where she has 3 months off during the summer, which really throws off her balance, because she goes through periods of extremes.  I'm the opposite where I kind of am always "working", and thus need to address my life in a different way.

I then asked her what that work-balance looks like, and what her goals looked like (timeline, specifics, etc.).  We have similar goals and values.  What I told her next is that you need to address things as a whole, as opposed to separating them.  Now, I am lucky enough that my work is also very fulfilling, though that wasn't always so.  I told her she needs to address work not as work, but as something that is supporting her overarching goals.  Also that she needs to make sure that her work is also fulfilling, otherwise it may be wise to look for something else (I know that is not always feasible for people).

The conversation was a really a microcosm of Mastery-Mediocrity.  Also, a lesson from Mastery by Stewart Emery.  We need to approach our lives, like we would mastery.  It isn't going to be linear, or quick, or even moving in the right direction at times, but it does have to be focused on our goals.

I ended the conversation by telling her that it helps to have a community/village to support your goals.  We can only do so much as individuals, and usually we can't reach our goals on our own.  Having a community allows us access to tools that we need, and more importantly, the connections, the relationships we have between people is usually the supporting foundation for our "why" to reach those goals.

Nigel Bauer

The Power Of Need In Forming Habits Pt. 1

Some of us may be familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs to some extent or another, and how it influences or day-to-day lives, even if we are unaware of it.  Obviously, food, shelter, water, the need to breath, and the need to sleep are all ones that we are most aware of.  They should be, for they are the foundation of the pyramid, titled physiological needs.  From there, there is safety & security, love & belonging; self-esteem; and finally self-actualization.  It's amazing how many of these I can relate to my Kung Fu, but I'll get to that.

What has spurred this train of thought for me, is how the habits that I have created, the most successful ones, have come from a need, somewhere on that pyramid.  Even my base physiological needs, the most important one, has helped me form good habits.  Food being the number one.  Food on its own has never been the issue.  By that, I mean I've never gone hungry.  However, I did have poor nutrition.  From this poor nutrition bore maladies such as acne/rashes, inflammation, depression & anxiety, fatigue, sluggish digestion, and pericarditis.  That last one shocked my system and put the fear of god in me.  It was the first time I was truly faced with my mortality and that if I wasn't careful, my time here on this plane could be very short lived.  Thus spurred the NEED to make some changes to how I was living.  Diet was one of the first things that I addressed.  I became very conscious of what I was putting into my body, and even now, I am still refining, not necessarily at the physiological need, but at the self-actualization, the top of the pyramid.  That is a deeper conversation for another time.  My healthy eating is stemmed from a need to heal myself from real food, and water, and sleep, etc..

This ties into the next stage, safety & security.  Health is apart of this level, as is family, social ability, and employment.  Health has been my main focus, ensuring that I am doing everything in my power to have good health and good habits.  It started with diet, then exercise, and now it is about sleep (recovery) and reducing stress & inflammation.  Last year, and the year before that, was my employment.  I'm self employed yes, but it was about shifting my mindset to that of gratitude, and now my employment is filled with enjoyment.  Friends and family is always something I'm working on in this level, mainly effective communication, and connection on a deep, personal level.

Love & belonging, which again, includes friendships and family, intimacy and sense of connection.  You can see the pattern of how one starts to feed into the other.  Self-Esteem is the next block, which includes: confidence, achievement, respect of others, the need to be a unique individual.  Lastly on the pyramid is Self-Actualization.  Included in that is: morality, creativity, spontaneity, acceptance, experiencing purpose, meaning, and inner potential.  I see a lot of my Kung Fu, and specifically those of us in the IHC, mastery, in each of these levels.  We learn about breathing in our Kung Fu.  We're improving our health, and creating our own security.  We have a sense of community and connection within our Kwoon.  We develop confidence, respect, and achievement through our lessons and training.  Lastly, we learn of morality, creativity, acceptance, meaning, and inner potential through our Kung Fu.

I know we talked about our requirements and how sometimes we choose goals that are more for a checklist rather than getting a real benefit out of it.  The point I've been trying to make is looking into areas of life where you see a NEED for change, and focus on that.  I know for me personally, habits formed out of a need, have been way more beneficial and life changing, than those stemming from a want.  Great example is the "beach body".  We diet to get a certain look.  Most of the time, we'll crash and fail, not because it is unattainable, but because of our expectations and perception.  Where as choosing to eat healthier to improve your digestion, your skin, your energy, your mood, etc., is often much more sustainable, because you're seeing a benefit, and a need for better nutrition.  As a nice side effect, we often get that "beach body" look as a result.  So take a good look at what your NEEDS are, and what maybe are just WANTS.

Nigel Bauer

Reflecting On The Year So Far

Time seems to be going at warp speed lately.  In fact it's going so fast that it has turned to plaid (not sure everyone will get that reference).  Hard to believe we're already into November, and that our IHC year is 3/4's of the way done.  November is when things really start to get crazy busy for the business.  People are trying to use up their benefits the last few weeks before Christmas, and we try to accommodate as much as possible.  Add in winter birthdays, which there are a lot of in my friends and family group, and of course Christmas, and the end of the year will be here before I know it.

As I mentally prepare myself for this final push of the calendar year, I find myself reflecting on the days passed.  What successes I have had, what failures, moments of clarity, what I'm most grateful for, what lessons have I learned, etc..  Which has really brought to the forefront of my mind, how mindful I am on a day-to-day basis.  Like our intent in forms, it is difficult to stay present throughout the entirety, and the same is true of my day-to-day.  I could be more mindful and enjoy the present moment more often.  Perhaps I can quell some of that anxious energy I carry with me.\

With that all said, my successes and my failures have both been tied to my personal interactions.  Some of my brightest moments have been in deepening relationships with those around me, and at the same time, some of my darker failures have been losing myself in some of those interactions as well.  I have had times where I've lost my cool, been irritated and frustrated; and for what?  Usually something trivial that really didn't matter.  This has been my moment of clarity for me, wrought from these instances.  In it all, I have been pulled to withdraw into a quiet place and reflect on my inner life.  This may have been one of my busiest years in a while, and I have felt a need to find more time to myself, to just be with myself, and get away from all of the noise that blares into my head.  From this has spawned my requirements for the team next year, and the need/desire to integrate more of my personal life into my requirements.  Goals that serve the direction I want to go towards.  For me, that is strengthening my businesses and my personal relationships.

My ultimate goal is to become a better person, better version of myself than I was previously.  That isn't always linear, nor do I think that it can be.  I think there are parts of us that come up to the surface when we're ready to face them.  So sometimes that means repeating old patterns, and going backwards emotionally, before we can learn our lesson and move forward.  Like our mediocrity-mastery cycle, we go through periods where we are in a good place, but then old patterns can creep in, and we restart the cycle, with the hopes of learning a bit more each time.  Right now I am in the midst of such a cycle, and taking time to really take a good look at myself, my patterns, and behaviours in hopes of learning something new about myself and hopefully shedding old patterns that no longer serve me.

Nigel Bauer

Investing In My Retirement

I know what you're thinking, Nigel you're a young 20 something, why do you need to worry about retirement?  Well, I'm not talking about my finances.  Okay, okay!  I'm not a 20 something anymore either.  What I'm investing in, is my health.  Kung Fu has been a key tool in my retirement strategy, and as last night's class proved, a great humbler.  Always room for improvement.

What some of you may or may not now, is that I work out for 90 minutes before I even go to class.  Usually pushing weights.  I do this for the obvious health reasons, but the timing is strictly because of the way my schedule works out.  Back to my investing in my retirement.  This thought has been on my mind since I saw an interview about a person talking about this very thing.  Just like how we can start saving up when we are young, yes I'm talking to those of you in their 20's and younger who feel invincible now.  Believe me, we've all been there.  You feel unstoppable at that age, but you'll hit a point where you do not bounce back as fast, and that is even if you're keeping active.  Those cells of yours that repair don't work as efficiently or effectively the older you get.

Being in health care, I have seen people older, and the same age that are in rough shape because they haven't invested in their retirement, or health for that matter.  Since, A) I want to live to a ripe old age, and 2) want to be mobile and still have my faculties about me, I'm investing now.  I do this by refining my diet, supplementing where I can, and staying active through my Kung Fu, and through my weight training.  I started late.  By late, I mean, I started in my mid 20's, because I didn't know better.  I was very active, but my diet was atrocious, and I slept very little.  It was through Acupuncture that my knowledge came, and when I really started to get in-tune with my body.  So for all of you, regardless of your age, best start investing now, because the sooner you start, the better.  It will pay dividends later in life.  Sure there will always be things out of our control, like illness and injury, and other unforeseen circumstances, but we are aspiring black belts and black belts, we are control freaks, and that should start with the decisions we make for ourself.

Nigel Bauer